More than 20 years ago, my mom was biking home from a triathlon meeting just after 10 pm. It was rainy and dark. She was on the main street, and a delivery driver coming from a side street didn’t see her.
The accident was in the local newspaper the next day. My mom’s brain injuries were severe and the doctors had to put her into an artificially induced coma and remove part of her skull due to brain swelling.
Four weeks later, she had infections in her lungs and needed to be woken up from the coma. I remember being excited when I held her hand and she moved her arm for the first time. A sign of life.
She had a stroke and passed away that night. My father, my sister, my brother, and I were devastated.
I was home on vacation from my studies overseas. After my mom’s death, we were all back together in our childhood home, and one morning, my dad was so distraught that he shaved off half his beard by accident. On one side, he had his regular bushy brown beard, and on the other side, smooth pale baby skin.
All my life, my father had been a beardy guy. And he felt comfortable that way.
“I guess you have to shave the other side off too,” I said.
“Oh no,” he said. “Nothing to worry about. People don’t pay attention.”
I shook my head, and he went to work in the village where everybody had known him for years. And guess what?
Nobody noticed.
If you’re the kind of person who’s concerned about which top to wear or if you can get away with the same pants for a third day in a row, don’t worry. The vast majority of people don’t pay attention.
Why didn’t people notice that my dad was missing half of his beard? They knew my dad. They saw him regularly in the village. There was no reason for them to look closely at him. And anyway, with my mom’s accident and passing, there were other things to worry and talk about.
What does this have to do with brand building? The other day, someone asked the Substack community to share the best tip they’ve received from a creator. I’ve received amazing advice on social media, so I wanted to write a response.
I was thinking of different creators and their niches, and of the pictures that come up with different posts in my feed. But I couldn’t think of one exceptional piece of advice that helped me. I had consumed a ton of expertise online; I just couldn’t remember the specifics.
Most of us want to help our audience, and we put smart knowledge out there.
But all I remembered was names and faces and feelings.
The good news is that I am an average human being. The reason I remember names and faces and associate feelings with these online connections is because of the consistent value they provide. And I mean value in a bigger sense.
The creators I remember make me laugh, they make me think, they make me feel seen, and they show up again and again.
And instead of remembering their advice, I remember them. Their name or their face or their pictures and reels.
They’ve built a relationship with me.
People don’t pay attention to that missing half of a beard. They pay attention to how you make them feel.
When you’re building a brand online, don’t worry about getting a few details wrong. Stay consistent, be visual, be a human being, and help your target audience. And your audience will build a relationship with you without even paying attention.
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